Being Alienated // Talk
MY INTERNET IS THE REASON WHY THIS POST IS A DAY LATE GRRRrrrr
But on my last blog post I promised that:
An interesting blog post though? What. was. I. thinking.
Nothing interesting ever happens in my life ummmmmm errrrrrrrrrrr
WOAH...
I GOT IT
And I promise it doesn't include talking about tv shows or books. But I HAVE to include song of the week... it's become a thing now
So, I don't know if it is just me... but do you ever just feel like a complete alien to other people?
Like, there may be days where you fit in perfectly with group conversations, but then there are just those oh so m-i-s-e-r-a-b-l-e days where you just feel like no-one understands you.
Well, those "alienated" days are starting to overpower normal days for me.
I sometimes feel as if I have to force a smile because people always ask
"WHATS WRONG?"
"ARE YOU SICK?"
"ARE YOU OKAY?"
Well, in actual fact I'm fine. No, I'm great. You just ruined my daydreaming in Math class so yeah, I'm (psht totally not) putting you on my "To-Kill" list.
Okay, not only do I think I have a really severe case of "resting bitch face", but I just overall think that sometimes I can't relate to anyone out there at all.
I'm the type of person that:
- Has a love/hate relationship with peanut butter
- Is depressed over the fact that I love e-mail, but no-one uses it!
- Agrees to talk to a guy, even though I know he will never truly like me
- Used to have OCD, but wishes for it back for the sake of the state of my room (I'm talking dust bunnies EVERYWHERRRRREE!!)
- Loves to type on my keyboard (sometimes I won't even bother with copy-and-paste)
- Can't stand homework, but when I do it; I suddenly become a perfectionist
- Stays up until 4:32AM, getting "lost" on Wikipedia (I'LL EXPLAIN IN ONE OF MY NEXT BLOG POSTS
!)
- I'm easily entertained by documentaries, but I don't have Foxtel :(
- Won't stand watching a tv show for WEEKS, but then goes on a binge (broke my promise darn it)
- Won't touch my piano in weeks, but then panic for my upcoming lesson and practice for HOURS
- My palms go REALLY sweaty all the time, I swear I get anxiety over nothing
- Has stopped playing games on my phone
- I make thousands of to-do lists, attempt to complete some...but never finish them
- I swear sometimes, I think I'm bipolar
- I always self-diagnose using the internet; haven't been to a doctor in yonks! (horrible habit)
- When I go to the shops with friends, I always come back with a book (HOARDER ALERT)
Okay, there could possible be a part 2 to that list. Actually. No. A part 200. Yeah, that seems right.
I'm such a weird person, but I always mask it with a smile, or a "normal" attitude.
But up until late last year, I dropped the fake act; and my friends surprisingly like me better.
According to some people, they thought I was depressed for a long period of time; which drives me crazy!! So I started to let my real personality leak through.
I'm always that sarcastic person that makes WAYY too many jokes. I hurt myself by communicating with fellas that (I know) will break my heart.
I feel like sometimes people don't care about me, which then drives me crazy because I will have no shoulder to cry on (metaphorically); and all my problems are therefore kept to myself.
But, at the end of the day... I always learn that I shouldn't put a mask on.
I shouldn't hide my true self from other people because they will always find out.
I shouldn't talk to people that will tear pieces from me. Instead, I should fill my life with people that support everything I do. But at the same time, I like honest people. The only honest people I have in my life are close friends and family. AND YES SOMETIMES THEY'RE TOO HONEST WHICH HURTS!! But I usually get over it.
It's good to have someone out there to point out your flaws.
It's good sometimes to be alienated from everyone else, because that is when we start to realize.
Yes, we might start to realize that we're weird.
But becoming isolated from what is considered "norm" can be good for the soul.
It cleanses our mind.
For that moment when we are alienated, we escape reality.
We no longer have to worry about the little things like "Oh, I had a pretty bad pimple the other day" or "Why is everyone a DJ?".
Instead we worry about nothing.
So if you ever see a person daydreaming, YES you can talk to them.
But not unless they're crying, don't you dare ever use the words "ARE YOU OKAY??".
At least try to ease that phrase in a little later.
Because that person is most likely concentrating on something beautiful.
Like, a dream home, or some dream they had a few days ago.
I'm going to stop writing because this is turning into a god-damned novel. I just hope that whoever finds this can somehow relate.
Then again, who will find this?
SONG I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH THIS WEEK ~ Paper Doll - John Mayer
But on my last blog post I promised that:
"I'll step my game up by writing a proper blog post (It'll be posted on time, have pictures, be interesting)"I promised pictures soooooOOOOoOOoooooo
Nothing interesting ever happens in my life ummmmmm errrrrrrrrrrr
WOAH...
I GOT IT
And I promise it doesn't include talking about tv shows or books. But I HAVE to include song of the week... it's become a thing now
So, I don't know if it is just me... but do you ever just feel like a complete alien to other people?
Like, there may be days where you fit in perfectly with group conversations, but then there are just those oh so m-i-s-e-r-a-b-l-e days where you just feel like no-one understands you.
Well, those "alienated" days are starting to overpower normal days for me.
I sometimes feel as if I have to force a smile because people always ask
"WHATS WRONG?"
"ARE YOU SICK?"
"ARE YOU OKAY?"
Well, in actual fact I'm fine. No, I'm great. You just ruined my daydreaming in Math class so yeah, I'm (psht totally not) putting you on my "To-Kill" list.
 |
| my resting bitch face |
I'm the type of person that:
- Has a love/hate relationship with peanut butter
- Is depressed over the fact that I love e-mail, but no-one uses it!
- Agrees to talk to a guy, even though I know he will never truly like me
- Used to have OCD, but wishes for it back for the sake of the state of my room (I'm talking dust bunnies EVERYWHERRRRREE!!)
- Loves to type on my keyboard (sometimes I won't even bother with copy-and-paste)
- Can't stand homework, but when I do it; I suddenly become a perfectionist
- Stays up until 4:32AM, getting "lost" on Wikipedia (I'LL EXPLAIN IN ONE OF MY NEXT BLOG POSTS
!)
- I'm easily entertained by documentaries, but I don't have Foxtel :(
- Won't stand watching a tv show for WEEKS, but then goes on a binge (broke my promise darn it)
- Won't touch my piano in weeks, but then panic for my upcoming lesson and practice for HOURS
- My palms go REALLY sweaty all the time, I swear I get anxiety over nothing
- Has stopped playing games on my phone
- I make thousands of to-do lists, attempt to complete some...but never finish them
- I swear sometimes, I think I'm bipolar
- I always self-diagnose using the internet; haven't been to a doctor in yonks! (horrible habit)
- When I go to the shops with friends, I always come back with a book (HOARDER ALERT)
Okay, there could possible be a part 2 to that list. Actually. No. A part 200. Yeah, that seems right.
I'm such a weird person, but I always mask it with a smile, or a "normal" attitude.
But up until late last year, I dropped the fake act; and my friends surprisingly like me better.
According to some people, they thought I was depressed for a long period of time; which drives me crazy!! So I started to let my real personality leak through.
I'm always that sarcastic person that makes WAYY too many jokes. I hurt myself by communicating with fellas that (I know) will break my heart.
 |
| basically me as a friend (works with the topic of alienation) |
But, at the end of the day... I always learn that I shouldn't put a mask on.
I shouldn't hide my true self from other people because they will always find out.
I shouldn't talk to people that will tear pieces from me. Instead, I should fill my life with people that support everything I do. But at the same time, I like honest people. The only honest people I have in my life are close friends and family. AND YES SOMETIMES THEY'RE TOO HONEST WHICH HURTS!! But I usually get over it.
It's good to have someone out there to point out your flaws.
It's good sometimes to be alienated from everyone else, because that is when we start to realize.
Yes, we might start to realize that we're weird.
But becoming isolated from what is considered "norm" can be good for the soul.
It cleanses our mind.
For that moment when we are alienated, we escape reality.
We no longer have to worry about the little things like "Oh, I had a pretty bad pimple the other day" or "Why is everyone a DJ?".
Instead we worry about nothing.
So if you ever see a person daydreaming, YES you can talk to them.
But not unless they're crying, don't you dare ever use the words "ARE YOU OKAY??".
At least try to ease that phrase in a little later.
Because that person is most likely concentrating on something beautiful.
Like, a dream home, or some dream they had a few days ago.
I'm going to stop writing because this is turning into a god-damned novel. I just hope that whoever finds this can somehow relate.
Then again, who will find this?
SONG I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH THIS WEEK ~ Paper Doll - John Mayer
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