Hoarding

I don't know what it is about summer days, but when it is over 35 degrees celsius and I'm in my room, I get the feeling that my walls are closing in and all my possessions are choking me. When you rely on retail therapy to lift your mood, no matter what bargain you get, the true price you pay is the space that your purchases take up.

And honestly, it does not take much for that space to run out, especially if you're still at your parents house. And when I clean my room I sometimes get chilling flashbacks of YouTubers like Zoella uploading massive 'haul' videos on YouTube, influencing us teens to buy in excess in order to show off. What was that all about?

When I cleared out my belongings last year, I mentioned that I 'can't remember what I threw out'. And I can honestly still relate. If I were to list 5 important things that live in one of my drawers right now, I probably wouldn't be able to reach 2. Over time, a lot of what I own has lost its purpose to me. 

For example, I have stopped crafting as much as I used to. Do I need to own so many supplies? Stacks of A3 paper, enough acrylic paint to fill a suitcase, knitting equipment, beads... I don't think I have touched any of those items in the last 2 years at least. So why do I hold onto it?  

I find it difficult to let go of things sometimes. Objects are no longer just objects, they become memories. But this isn't necessarily healthy. I remember holding on to chocolate wrappers that I had on a good day. You don't always need a physical object to remind you of a good day, the memory should be enough. I also find that taking photos to preserve special moments helps combat this, but then it can become 'digital hoarding' (I will write about this in a dedicated post).

At the moment I'm cleaning my room. And not just a surface clean, it is my yearly 'Why do I still own this?' big clean out. And no matter how often I do one of these, I still wind up drowning in all my possessions. And I somehow still find an excuse for some useless items to survive the elimination round. Think of it a bit as the garage sale in 'Toy Story', except instead of toys it is my first crusty lipstick that I owned who sighs in relief when it gets to stay for another year on my dust-infested makeup shelf.

I remember I used to blog about minimalism and over time I have established that it does not necessarily suit my lifestyle. To be completely honest, I think minimalism reminds me of veganism in that it isn't always achievable for everyone however, it is nice to know that people are out there doing it. And good for them! Funnily enough, I used to blog about veganism and I never imagined myself to be eating meat again; but here I am. 

And that is the thing with life. We go through so many changes in a such a short amount of time that you never really know what will happen in the next few years, or even months. During that time you may decide that maybe starting a book collection wasn't a good idea for your small room, or that you'll take art projects into deep consideration before diving in because who likes spending $150 at Spotlight on something you're going to throw out in shame? But it is okay. We have to make those financial mistakes in order to realise that you have a problem with impulse buying.